It’s like this…

Sometimes I stutter.  Not just in speech, but in movement.  That’s what depression does to me, it causes me to lurch forward and back, like a car with an engine problem.  If you were a fly on the wall you’d see me looking at something that needs to be put on the fridge, and my hand just above the item.  Will I pick it up?  Won’t I pick it up?  Why should I?  Why not?  A thousand words go through my head, every one questioning my decisions.  Every word a lie.  

Depression lies to you.  

I have a gym membership, and I know that exercise is good for bashing away at depression.  But I can’t work up to working out.  Nope.  Maybe tomorrow.  Or next week.  

Another lie.  

I have to keep telling myself that depression isn’t all of me.  

That’s the truth.

 

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